hi i'm elise and check please owns my ass
i'm from the south
if the ship exists, i probably ship it
kent parson is my garbage son please don't be mean to him
team attic
i'll add some links & stuff here when i get this blog started
ngl every time I think about the Falconers playing the Aces I picture some Monty Python-esque hockey parody with all the check please fandom tropes, told from the point of view of some generic announcers like
The game is about to start- aaaaaaand they’re already fighting. Ref looks like he’s gonna let it slide
The game is underway! And Parson has already got the puck, he’s been really on form this season, John. Is he gonna score? No, he’s been checked by Mashkov
that’s an unusual way to check someone, Steve, it looks like Mashkov just picked him up
Look at his little legs kicking out. It’s like he’s throwing a tantrum
Parson and Mashkov are fighting. This might be a theme of this game
I didn’t know Parson knew judo, did you?
Well, the Aces are full of surprises
The Falconers have the puck! The penalty killers for the Aces need to work harder than this! Their captain must be nervous, knowing he’s given Providence this early power play opportunity
Actually, Steve, it looks like Parson is putting on eyeliner in the penalty box
Wow, look at those wings. He’s really improved this season
And Zimmermann has scored! Parson only just manages to finish his eyeliner before being back on the ice
Faceoff between Zimmermann and Parson, you can really feel the tension here!
Look at how close they’re standing, trying to intimidate each other
They keep getting closer. This is a rivalry for the ages, alright
And now they’re making out. The ref is politely asking them to stop
What’s happening on the benches? there seems to be some sort of scuffle
It looks like two of the Aces are trying to throw a Falconer onto the ice to prompt a too many men penalty
The Falcs don’t like it and the gloves are coming off again. The ref appears to just be shaking his head
Parson scores!
Zimmermann scores again! what a tense game
And another goal to Parson!
Is it weird that they’re the only two scoring?
Works for the narrative, Steve
Look at this fight! Everyone’s involved now
I think the ref just punched one of the Ace’s defencemen
and EVERYONE’S been given a penalty. No one’s on the ice
Looks like it’s gonna be four minutes of just the goalies staring at each other
Parson is now helping his teammates with their lipstick, what a good captain
Oh, now the goalies are fighting
Zimmermann is eating a pie in the penalty box
Another goal to the Aces! Their communication has really improved since Parson started changing his eye colour to send messages to the team
In a surprise change, the Aces have put Kit Purrson on the ice, do you think he’ll score?
He’s a cat, Steve
Look, he just scored
Goal Zimmermann! The Las Vegas captain appears to have been distracted by Zimmermann’s butt
Well, this is a new type of fight! I’ve never seen jousting with hockey sticks before
I think Mashkov has a knife taped to the end of his
And that’s the end of the game, and what an exciting one it was! we’ve lost track of the scores so we’ll just say that the Falconers won
Zimmermann celebrates by making out with his best platonic friend from college, Eric Bittle
